The Chronicles of Ted: He’s Alive

Does it count that I have well over 4 different blog update posts on Ted spanning 2 weeks and counting sitting in my draft stack of ever growing future posts?

Probably not as any of you who have been following Ted’s progress are probably waiting on baited breath to see if Ted is alive or dead.

Ted lives.

Ted is a handful.

Ted is full of piss and vinegar which officially classifies him in our family of 11 misfits and counting & is a good thing.  A very good thing.

Aka: Honey Badgers Rawwwwr!!!

Although I have a slew of pics on Ted documenting his recovery since I first spotted his pitiful lifeless and beyond jacked up self in the back-40 of our yard going on over a month now I’m too damn tired to complete one of the many posts I’ve been working in-between changing life’s daily diapers so tonight this is all I’ve got.

Here’s some bulletins on Teddy Boy as of this very moment in which I just left Ted to calm the hell down after his nightly distilled water bath, new 1 day old eye flush routine and reapplication of his triple-antibiotic ointment applied to what’s left of his unbelievably healing FUBAR’d wounds which Miguel & I now believe he more than likely sustained at the hands of poor Miguel during a weed-wack-a-thon or the lawnmower in our spacious yard and complelty unaware to Miguel during said mash.

I know…

We’re still reeling from the potentially real-time reality that we inadvertently caused Ted’s hellacious injuries.  Now lets paint this picture shall we?  Do lets!

1. Ted’s alive

2. Ted poops on a regular schedule and it is formed and smelly. Two musts for proper rehabilitation. I’m tracking his every move on a calendar but am too tired to relive it let alone walk to it at the moment & I haven’t even gotten my crack-like fix of at least one out-of-date episode of my new favorite Netflix re-run show Wentworth.  Dear God it’s amazing! Okay, back to Ted.

3. Ted upgraded from his 7.5×7.5 inch Beta fish tank rehab facility a 1 room studio apartment into a 20 something inch long tall enough that he can’t jump out glass silicone sealed Townhouse compliments of my thrifty ways and Petsmart coupons. Miguel was ecstatic when I arrived home with it.  I know; it’s fascinating seeing a real man as excited as you are about this stuff isn’t it. 😉 So much so that Miguel before I could even ask him volunteered to design and build Ted’s new break-out-proof top for his kick ass sanctuary rehab home which he did in just a few hours using all leftovers and free stuff we’ve been accumulating over the years and yard sales.

Too tired to post pics just yet but I will.  Two words:  Crown Molding.

4. Ted strongly disliked the new Toad Cave with built in water soaking unit AKA: “Bowl & Cave” of a masterpiece purchased with said coupon and seems to prefer his shallow scalloped edge creme brûlée dish borrowed from the kitchen during his rescue mission. So the amphibian masterpiece he’s rejected is being returned.

Go figure.

5.  Ted LOVES his Half-Frog-Hide Out.  The cheapest piece in his new rehab upgrade facility and after my Petsmart coupon I only paid $4 for it but he adores this damn thing and lays on it, in it, across it and stands on it sprawled out up on the glass sides of his new sanctuary.

Yet another sign Ted is perfect for this family as he’s got a taste for the thrifty yet functional.

5. Wait for it. Wait for it….. Ted is now eating live food all on his own! Yes I said it outloud. In doing so the mountainous guilt Miguel and I felt from buying, capturing and then preparing aka: Killing Ted’s food prior to force feeding him has temporary diminished.

He’s up to 2 large crickets a day and the guitar pick; the instrumental tool needed to force feed him with has been retired. For now.

6. Ted’s tongue is amazingly long. Lightening fast too. Had no idea of this until he began eating on his own. He’s a little bit out of practice but he hasn’t forgotten how to hunt on his own.  He’s just gotten a bit lazy. He gets pissy when I mention this during our micromanagement of his self-feeding human-observer-stalk-athon which Miguel’s caught on tape but I’m too tired to post it at the moment even if I’ve got insomnia.  It’s brutal.

Miguel and I are beyond-words-pleased about Ted’s return to his self-feeding wild-ways and our karma feel like its cleansing itself. Or so we tell ourselves.

That’s all I got and I now think I’m too tired to even watch an outdated episode of Wentworth but I now leave you with the disorganized pics of the past 2 or so weeks of Teds life… Excuse the most recent pic taken tonight and thru the glass of his new Townhouse; the lightening and my camera sucks but his wound is nearly gone even if the top portion of the affect sides eye is still re-growing back in place.  Ted’s recovery is still miraculous.

"Ted & his human-dad's Miguel during feeding time... Ted is totally hungry yet still playing hard to get..." Saturday February 28, 2015 the day before Ted began finally eating on his own ;)."

“Ted & his human-dad’s Miguel during feeding time… Ted is totally hungry yet still playing hard to get…” Saturday February 28, 2015 the day before Ted began finally eating on his own ;).”

" Still playing hard to get as Miguel patiently holds the feeding tools loaded with his 1 of 4 parts of his daily feeding..."

” Still playing hard to get as Miguel patiently holds the feeding tools loaded with his 1 of 4 parts of his daily feeding…”

 

" One of two times Ted would actually use his new "Bowl & Cave" soaking dish and hide-a-way before refusing to go near it.... Pfffff.... "

“One of two times Ted would actually use his new “Bowl & Cave” soaking dish and hide-a-way before refusing to go near it…. Pfffff…. “

" Teds FAVORITE all time new 'thing' in his rehab home... The half-log-hideout where he can be found in it, on it, sprawled out and standing on top of it..."

” Teds FAVORITE all time new ‘thing’ in his rehab home… The half-log-hideout where he can be found in it, on it, sprawled out against it and standing on top of it…”

" Ted's wounds about a week or so ago... Today though they have reduced in size by at least half ;)"

” Ted’s wounds about a week or so ago… Today though they have reduced in size by at least half ;)”

" Do not be alarmed... This shot was taken tonight and in the dark and through Ted's glass house.  The area I am making note of is the massive reduction in the size of his back wound..." It's amazing!"

” Do not be alarmed… This shot was taken tonight and in the dark, with reflections & well; I’m tired but it was taken through Ted’s glass house. The area I am making note of is the massive reduction in the size of his back wound…” It’s amazing!”

" Lastly... Just so we never forget where we started; A side by side shot of Ted. To the LEFT is within the first day of when I found him; to the Right 17 days into his rehab...."

” Lastly… Just so we never forget where we started; A side by side shot of Ted. To the LEFT is within the first day or 2 of when I found him with either his shoulder blade protruding through the raw fleshly wound or a rib all I know is that it’s a bone; to the Right 17 days into his rehab @ Casa Ortega ;)….”

 

Until we return and thank you for your patience 😉

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