Hemlock Grove: I’m Smitten!

I’m always a day late & a dollar short when it comes to movies and television.

I actually stopped watching it all together for around 2 years as I really saw no need to and had officially began my one-woman-picket against paid cable services.

I also do not go to movies theaters to watch movies as I cannot stand how rude humans have become over the decades.

That and I see no need to pay excessive quantities of money to sit next to complete strangers who will inevitably annoy the living hell out of me.

Then there’s those who felt it a smashing idea to bring their small children and infants into an adult movie.

That one slays me and seems to push me into the next level of all-consuming infuriation & dismay.

I refuse to pay to be miserable when I can simply stay home & be miserable for free.

Somewhere along the way I made a friend who also shared my tastes for the super natural and she introduced me to HBO’s True Blood.

That’s when it all restarted. I became smitten with Eric Northman the blonde God-like undead Vampire who even when he lost his memory and for all intents and purposes went from a blood thirsty whorish douche bag to being rendered as helpless as a puppy I found myself still drawn to him…

A love struck puppy. It was gross as I totally dug his evil man whoring ways but even when he was reduced to his helpless version of himself it wasn’t enough to break the spell he had over me.

And then Eric got skinny and lost the meat on his bones; now that did lessen the draw for me… But I was still smitten with him.

I haven’t watched True Blood and am behind years on it not sure if it’s still even filming as after I finished the boxed disc set from Al I didn’t have cable so I abandoned my new fluid addiction settling on the knowledge that one day I’d find re-runs somewhere and catch up.

Plus I have to tell you that I actually love my eons-behind status on all movies and series as I rarely feel deprived like so many who stay current on them and go into the dreaded withdrawal mode as a current season or release ends.

By remaining years behind like I do it’s like Christmas all year-long.

I love that.

Emily from Revenge had worn out my last nerve & when Aiden died during the last season I was glad to be rid of seeing her pitifully selfish face and acts of desperation.

I was ready for the mandatory break for the series and by watching last years episodes this past month it forced me into the hiatus.

She’s a black-belt in something but I’m convinced that my irritation with her would have trumped her training and I would have gotten in at least one solid throat punch before the cat fight ended…

Over the past couple of months as the weather began to change from Fall to Winter and my desire to garden and be out in the sun working in the yard as often as time allowed ditching out on the housework to do so, I found myself craving some fantasy.

Real life is entirely over-rated and I am finding a healthy balance these days by blending real life with fantasy in the form of some new movies & series I’ve discovered on our $8 a month Netflix subscription.

I’ve always had an indescribable draw to the mystic & unexplainable.  If I had to say which genres I’d fall into it would be Suspense & Thrillers.

I’ve exhausted Revenge rubbing out the previous sessions thru 2014 as well as a few other series like American Horror Story which I totally dug.

Totally dug it on its first season in which the setting was in a vintage mansion which was haunted.

Really haunted rendering anyone who had called the place “home” dead at some point during their voluntarily sentence there.

Taking it just one step deeper into the morbid macabre; the newly dead inhabitants were now eternal prisoners within the properties boundaries never allowed to cross over into the afterlife.

Wickedly delicious! And it fed my search for fantasy, imagination and the metaphysical world of the occult…

I adored it! Only to realize after the last family members bit the dust that the series would continue using the same characters such as the eternal Jessica Lange only in a different “script”.

Season 2 sucked ass and I just couldn’t get past its new boring tired scheme so I stopped watching it into the second episode of the second season.

This past week I launched the Netflix original series Hemlock Grove; a new one for me.

I immediately fell into it as it’s a supernatural creation which leaves me wondering what in the hell Olivia really is

I’m only on the first season.

She puts these mystery eye drops into her eyes which dilate her pupils and send her almost into a sedated state of ecstasy.  I still have no idea what in the hell these drops are suppressing.

I’ve also seen her on withdrawals from her mystery drops ravenously eat raw ground beef like she hadn’t eaten in months.

She’s even unbelievably sexy when she ate the raw burger…

I’m thinking she’s a werewolf yet also think that’s what the writers of the show want me to think so now I’m not sure as it still hasn’t been revealed in my virgin state of the show.  Then I think maybe a vampire?  But she walks around during the day and isn’t all sparkly like they are in Twilight.

I can tell you one thing. Famke Janssen is one of the most mystical creatures walking on 2 legs I’ve ever seen.


I became smitten with her decades ago when I saw her in some John Favreau movie.

Her larger than life stature, abnormally long legs, over all long-lanky features, Gumby-like agility, grace and huge hands and feet had me hooked.

I should have known looking back that the draw to her was more than just an appreciation of her freakishly uniquely eloquent self from a straight woman’s view-point but instead the unconscious part of myself informing me I was actually a bisexual creature.

I’d realize that yet-to-be awakened part of myself decades after the fact yet.

Right now Hemlock is making me want to hate Olivia however as the episodes continue I’m suspecting that our televised relationship is going to be one of a love-hate as I’m realizing her character and I are quite alike and she just a damaged, scorned survival-at-any-cost creature like myself…

However my gut instinct tells me she is evil; to the core.  Which I am not so this could prove to be a real challenge for her and my televised long distance relationship.

In real life Famke is a Scorpio.  Now that I’ve learned  this it’s no wonder she exudes sensuality, mystery & a natural draw to the darkness in the characters she portrays.  It’s in her DNA…

Something is off with her son Roman too… Way the hell off.

Too soon to say what he truly is just yet though as I’m still new to the show.

Time will tell…

I do wonder though, are there any other supernaturally metaphysically inclined shows out there I’m missing?

If so I’d love to be enlightened & remember it’s okay if they’ve already been discontinued or have been running for years. Those are my favorite kinds 😉

Jana Leigh Thomas-Ortega

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