I am Jana. I exist.

For quite some time now I’ve had an ever present nagging voice within me that refuses to be silenced.

The message it continues to speak to me is that I was created to do great things & to help many and that my current path isn’t my final destination but instead has prepared me for the next level in my life. That next level is happening now.

However, missing from this message has been the clearly charted & marked map allowing me to navigate this eternally destined journey which the voice continues to adamantly remind me I’m supposed to be on. It’s enough to make one question their sanity at times. It also pisses me off quite frequently too.

Instead the voice drops breadcrumbs.  At first they appeared to have no rhyme or reason in their placements but instead chaotically and untimely placed within this map better known as my life.

Looking back I now see how strategically inline each and every crumb has been.  Leading me to the place I am right now.

Here on WordPress having created my own blog and finally putting to paper the stories of my life one word at a time. Stories, experiences, thoughts, ideas and questions actually.  I truthfully do not understand humans nor why they do so many of the things that define who they are yet I refuse to give up the journey to understanding.

This too makes one question their sanity as each person is as unique as a grain of sand is and only an insane person would try to understand & define their differences right?.

I decided when I created my new blog that I would do so publicly verses keeping it private.  Private to me equates to hidden.  Transparency is a gift that far too many refuse to give. True transparency not selective that is. I choose true transparency for in doing so it sets my soul free regardless of the costs that are innately embedded with in its very DNA.

Fear of judgement and failure is for all intents and purposes at the heart of secrecy.

I reside in the deepest part of the ocean preferring to embrace my fears in their all consuming abyss of the unknown verses swimming in the shallow end where its believed to be the safest.  At least if I go down I’ll do so knowing the cause of my demise wasn’t because I allowed fear of the unknown to rule and define me.

In this knowledge I find peace and acceptance of myself & the world.

I’ve put some thought into subjects and topics that I may find a niche in or be naturally inclined to creatively write about and you know what I’ve learned?

I have far too many and they aren’t organized into any particular categorical system.  Yet.  I suspect this is a common occurrence for many writers actually.  More thoughts and ideas of creation then they can ever begin to organize or capitalize on leading to overwhelming and at times paralyzing moments of:

“Dear God how in the hell am I going to remember all of these moments of genius and create their destined masterpieces?!”.

I suspect I’m not alone in this area and hope to gain insight, feedback, support and unity in Blogging 101.  It’s timing is perfect!

I’m a whistle-blower too.  For the Federal Government. It took me more than a minute to be able to say that out-loud as it carries with it an innate need of secrecy & shame.  With time I’ve learned that I have nothing to be ashamed of nor keep secret.  Loneliness and ostracization are the companions of that blown whistle.

Writing and now blogging has given me a platform in which to put into writing the eclectic revelations that enter my mind, swirl around and either stick around or depart as quickly as they entered.

It’s a form of self induced therapy.

By years end I intend to be selling my freelance writing creations for publication, better educated and skilled in the art of blogging, more confident in the process of creative writing and giving back to as many as I possibly can in the form of paying-it-forward.

It is only through reading works by fellow writers that has pulled me through some of the darkest moments in my lifetime so it only makes sense to me to return that gift by hopefully doing the same for another.

It’s great to meet and see so many fellow humans on here and I’m looking forward to interacting & engaging with you in this endeavor of discovery.

~ Jana 😉

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11 thoughts on “I am Jana. I exist.

    • Thank you so much Fimnora! I truly appreciate your encouraging words and energy behind them.

      I see that one of your gifts & skillsets is in the Tarot…

      Will be requesting to follow you and delving into your writings as well.

      How refreshing! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You’re very welcome. Creativity is as important to encourage in others, as it is to enjoy for ourselves.

    Yes, I’ve just gotten back into working with my cards again. It’s been a great adventure, and I’ve found a wonderful community through my studies. I’d be honored to have you follow me here in WordPress 🙂 Thank you!
    Are you part of the Blogging U? That’s how I got into writing again.
    You mentioned requesting to follow me. My wordpress blog is at https://fimnorawestcaw.wordpress.com/. I don’t think there is a sign up, but I’m still new to the whole blogging community aspect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am in the Blogging 101 if that is what your referring to? I started off with a bang and then got overwhelmed with one the main areas I was excited about learning: Widgets and personalizing my Blog so that it looks just the way I like it.

      I’m afraid I have to at this point due to the fact that the internet terminology for making the changes to the blog is like a foreign language to me lol

      Because of this I’ve sorta withdrew from doing the homework assignments but have been reading & supporting fellow newbies in their homework.

      I just need to actually sit down and follow the prompts from WP’s printed up tutorials and do it. It’s ridiculous actually; how I’ve let the information overwhelm me..

      And I LOVE your blog and am officially following you now 😉

      Like

  2. Yes, I was talking about blogging 101. On the official page, it says, Blogging U, in the graphic they use for it. I think Michelle always mentions it too.

    Believe me, I fully understand about the overwhelming aspect of the widgets, and technology. I find not all of it is applicable to me, so I skip it. But I also have tried out some of the tasks, only to find that I was perfectly happy with the way I had it to begin with.

    The prompts, and the writing is why I’m here, and why I will continue to be here. I hope I can learn some of the techniques. I find, when I don’t understand something, if I post over at the commons, someone, or many ones, will step up and try to guide me. So not to worry, there is lots of help out there. If you’re feeling put off by something, move on to the next part, and also, reach out, and chat here with someone. Give me a holler. I’m always here. 🙂

    I’m honored to have you follow me. I am also following you. (I think there’s even a song in there somewhere 🙂 ).

    Like

  3. Pingback: What I learned about my Blog’s “Stat” feature… | The Art of This n' That

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